Why Do I Play Poker?

January 31, 2010

Poker Optimism – Number 1 Sign of a Losing Poker Player

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 9:28 am

Everyone loves an optimist.  Their enthusiasm is contagious.  They’re go-getters.

You know what?  I’ve had an assload of optimists lately.  And truthfully, the only place I want to see them is at the poker tables. Preferably, with their optimistic fucking mouths shut.

Here’s why? They’ll optimistically go to the ATM machine way more times than they’ll make that miracle one -outer.

If it’s so easy, then why do I sound so mad?  Thanks for asking. I get tired of hearing how optimism and enthusiasm are the be all end all of everything.  Everyone thinks those qualities are great. What about their cousins greed and self-delusion?  Well, they’re connected.  Alan Schoonmaker, Ph.D, put it best in his book, “Your Worst Poker Enemy“- “Destructive emotion #1: Hope”

Here’s the big secret.  Poker is really about things not happening.   Top pair on the flop usually holds up.  Make all the optimists pay dearly for their sunny outlooks.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my optimistic moments.  I’m basically a long term optimist, short term pessimist. Both in poker and in life.

I play poker to watch the optimists drown in their own hope.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 30, 2010

Free Online Poker – a safe way to be on full tilt

Filed under: Bad Beats, Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Poker — Tags: , , , , , , — WhyDoIPlayPoker @ 9:01 am

I am not a fan of free poker. It’s an oxymoron. Poker by its very definition needs to be played for money. If it doesn’t hurt to lose, it’s not poker.

That said, I have come to realize there is a time and place for the free online game.

In order to win in poker, you have to be controlled, disciplined, smart and lucky. As we all know, you can be at the top of your game, do everything right, and still lose. That’s one of the most frustrating things about poker. Do everything right, but still lose.

After a week’s worth of losing, either due to bad playing (probably) or bad beats (unlikely) I really want to say “fuck it” to good play.  This discipline, control and smart play hasn’t gotten me anywhere, so I think.

Enter FREE ONLINE POKER.

Talk about going all in with impunity. This is the place. 9-2 off UTG, sure. All in. Flop is A-A-K and I have pocket deuces. Fuck it. ALL IN!

This is where I go when I just can’t take it anymore. I can act like a jack ass. Push with junk. Call with junk. Act like a donkey. I get all of this out of my system. Welcome to the donkey farm.

Truthfully, I’m not happy until until at least six people are wishing cancer on me in the chat window. “What?  You want to play real poker? Get two nickels to rub together, assholes!”  I’m here for a purpose. This is free poker and I’m going all in every hand until I damn well feel and or play better.

Besides, I don’t feel as bad making a bunch of jerks hate me as I do after kicking the dog or punching a wall.  Ouch.  For the record, I never punched my dog. I did call him a douchebag once.

After 15 minutes of being this poker maniac, I feel better. The best part is I worked out some frustration and my bankroll is still intact.

I occasionally play free on-line poker to shake off the shit and stress from my real game.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 29, 2010

Full Tilt’s Rush Poker – A lesson in focus…..I think.

Filed under: Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 5:00 am

I wish I could tell you a surefire strategy to beat the online poker site’s new game.  But I can’t.  Not even close. I have no idea how to win in that game.  I think it starts with a raise and then I’m not sure where to go from there. Maybe a little patience might give you a leg up.  What do I know?  I’ve logged in for forty five minutes and played more hands than my first six months of poker combined.

The thing that hit me most about Full Tilt’s Rush poker is how important it is not to look back.  In Rush, there is no way to see how the hand would’ve ended.  You’re whisked away to another table.  You have a new decision to make. You don’t have time to think about what went right or wrong in the last hand.

Unlike regular poker, in Rush there is no “What if?” because the hand really doesn’t exist anymore. There’s not even a way to see “What if?” Actually, this is great, because if there ever were a shitty game, it’s  ”What if?”   It’s a subtle variation on the timeless classic “Would’ve, should’ve, could’ve.” Actually, it’s the same game with a different title.  Kinda like playing NYC Monopoly or Grateful Dead Monopoly.  Same game, different theme.

Now I’m not saying there isn’t a place for reflection about your game or your life.  It’s essential.  Just not at the table.

I always have to remember to be in the moment at the poker table. That’s the only thing that matters right now. Who cares if my KQ would have made a straight? Thinking about it only distracts me from the hand at hand. It’s a recipe to compound my losses or, if I’m basking in the glory of an amazing play, minimize my wins.

So I’m going to keep playing Rush. Stay focused and try to avoid writing blog posts while I’m doing it.  Because at  300 hands an hour, it’s damn near impossible.

I play poker to help me stay focused in the present.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 27, 2010

Poker Therapy

Filed under: Home Game, Online Poker, Poker, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 11:05 am

In elementary school I got beat up everyday by Jarett Moore. We were about the same size, but for some reason when he picked on me, I wouldn’t fight back.

Thirty years later the sense of shame for never fighting back is still palpable. Actually, it’s embarrassing and haunting. The only comfort I have in these memories is that by not fighting back I probably avoided living my life with a limp. Had I somehow managed to level Jarett, his brother or one of his 57 cousins would have removed my head and shat down my throat. R.I.P.

After thirty years on the shrink’s couch, I have finally learned to stand up for myself, though sometimes my timing is bad. Whenever there is a bully at the poker table, I always have the same knee jerk reaction: you’re not going to push me around. This is great when I have the nuts, but when I am on a stone cold bluff and Joe Bully re-raises, this reaction is a recipe for disaster.

Problem is, I never believe people’s bets. My rational brain thinks there is a chance I am beat, but my alligator brain says, EAT THAT FISH. You see, I have this gift. With 99% accuracy, I can mistakenly think someone is bullying me when they are not.

I realize that the poker table is a very expensive and completely unsympathetic place to work out my childhood turmoils. When I am feeling strong, I look for and attack the poor suckers who have the tell tale signs of being in poker therapy. And yet some nights my childhood gets the better of me. I am the sucker and have a very expensive poker therapy session.

You’d think by now I would pick a new place to work this out, but I have come to terms with the fact that from time to time I will find sadistic comfort in being picked on. I guess I am addicted to the rush of confrontation and the challenge of standing up to the bully. Even if the only person I am fighting with is myself.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 25, 2010

Like Dexter, I also have a “Dark Passenger.”

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, The Bike, WSOP, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

“I’m all in!”

“I call!”

He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in disgust. It’s not that I got outplayed. That doesn’t piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark passenger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It’s like I am two people. On the one hand, I am a responsible father and husband. Patient, creative and frugal. On the other hand, I am an aggressive poker player – impatient, impulsive and sometimes reckless.

Okay, maybe my comparison to Dexter is an exaggeration. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.

I have the same conversation every time I go to the casino. “Today I am going to play tight. No fishing. Only play position. Fold draws when I don’t have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don’t go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most importantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!” I look in the mirror. Remind myself that I am in control.

Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christmas present. 2 minutes later, all my chips are in the middle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and convince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 seconds later…..I am on tilt, calling for chips and ready to gamble. Just like that, enter my dark passenger. It doesn’t take long until, I have lost my second buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and realize I have been here for only 75 minutes. Luckily the wallpaper on my iPhone is a picture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail disappears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.

I am always surprised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grateful for him as well. I use him as a measure for my personal growth. The day I can take a beating and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of consciousness. It may sound a bit metaphysical, but that’s one of the reasons I play poker.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 24, 2010

Some things don’t go well together. Connectivity and sit-n-go bubble strategy come to mind.

Filed under: Bad Beats, Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

There have been all sorts of things that keep me from playing my best poker online.   Mad at my boss.  Looking at too much porn. You get the picture.

Well, the other night was the first time my computer got the best of me.

I played a $24  + $2 Turbo 90 person tourney with a KO bonus of $4 per victim.  What the hell?  Seemed like fun.

Well, It was fun until I started getting disconnected every other hand.

Frustrated, I tried to dump my chips with A2 under the gun but I spiked an ace and knocked out my opponent. My first KO bonus. $4.  Cool.

I get disconnected again.  And again. And again.

I reconnect  and to my surprise I have aces and action.  Two guys are going all in.  It’s my turn to act.  My hand gets automatically folded.

Fuck.

Fuck you computer!  They would have held up too.  I would be the chip leader by a fucking mile.

I’m pissed. You have to take advantage of those spots.

We’re getting close to the bubble.  The guy I would have knocked out pushes.  He has me covered.  I have KK. We’re really close to the bubble, what to do?

I don’t have to tell you what happened .

Okay, I will. Out on the bubble.

I could’ve of waited, but I thought I was owed one because of those aces.  Where are my extra 40K in chips? I played like I had a rain check for a big winning hand.

It doesn’t work that way.  I let my computer put me on tilt. Sure, it sucked that I was having connectivity issues.  But I should have to reminded myself that my strategy for the end of the tournament had nothing to do with my connectivity issues.  Irrationally, I thought I had one in the bank. And I didn’t. Even though it felt good to blame my computer, it had nothing to do with why I lost that tournament.

I play poker is for the big scores.  It just eluded me last night.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

P.S. I played another one the next night and pulled a 4th.  I’ll take $200 in profit. Gotta love the KO Bounty paying your buy in. No connectivity issues either.

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January 23, 2010

Gung Ho or Don’t Go

Filed under: Online Poker, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

You can’t have ambivalence when you play poker. You are either gungho rock out with your cock out, or don’t play. Poker players sense weakness. If you display any softness, they WILL eat your balls. Trust me, it hurts.

Sometimes my family schedule opens up on a night when I am completely tired. It creates such conflict for me. The universe conspires to give me a free night, I should rally the troops and seize the free time. However, I don’t feel up for it. Herein lies the rub.

In truth, I can’t bear to pass the opportunity to play cards, even if I’m exhausted. I suddenly have the feeling that this will be the last time. If I don’t go now, I’ll never again experience the exhilaration of poker’s body drenching adrenaline rush. (That sounds gay).

Nine times out of ten I go, and nine times out of nine, I lose. Not only that, I start off losing.

After 2 buy-ins, I buckle down. By 2AM, I have actually rallied back to even. I consider leaving, but 2 things cross my mind. First, I hate the idea of playing poker for 6 hours and breaking even. It sounds stupid, but I would rather lose than break even. At least I have something to show for my time: an empty pocket. Second, if I leave now I will never ever in my whole life have the time, energy or means to come back. This will DEFINITELY be my last time ever playing poker. Since this IS my last time, might as well go out with a bang. A poker binge, if you will.

On these nights, I don’t leave until the absence of chips states the obvious. Pal, you’re done. At 4AM, I am $400 poorer and ask myself why the fuck I even went in the first place. 3o minutes later I am home. The moment I step through my front door, I wonder if I have any time next weekend to go back. Instantly I catch myself. What the fuck am I thinking?

If I wait until next weekend, life will get too complicated and I’ll never get there. Better go back tomorrow.

I play because I have the bug.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 22, 2010

Sometimes I need a break from Dockers and fat free salad dressing.

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Home Game, Online Poker, Poker, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 9:21 am

A man can not be sustained on good, wholesome family life alone.  Or, at least, I can’t.  On a regular basis I like to head to my local casino, Hollywood Park.  It’s not just for the poker either. The place is a real melting pot and I get to rub elbows with people from walks of life I may never have the chance to otherwise.

I know a lot of people that are alarmingly similar.  CPAs, dentists, and an assload of regional managers. As you might guess, this gets boring.  The casino, on the other hand, is full of characters that you would probably would never meet anywhere but the casino.

I love it.

Playing with people from all walks of life is what makes poker great.  I can’t think of a better common denominator. I learn more about humanity at the table than I would at a lifetime of Neighborhood Watch meetings.  Okay fine, I don’t go to Neighborhood Watch meetings. That’s what regional managers are for. Where else can I hear from an ex-gangleader the way to make money is buying foreclosed homes from HUD, Housing Urban Development or something like that.  Dude was a millionaire.   Or maybe he was lying.  Either way I don’t care.  I’m definitely not going to meet the rock tight porn director at one of these sushi rolling parties my wife tells me we’ve been invited to.  Actually maybe I would.  But at the sushi party he’s not going into the details of the girl on girl scene gone bad because one of the actresses had some bad ceviche for lunch.

I play poker to meet people I normally wouldn’t.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 20, 2010

Poker is a dream maker

Filed under: Bad Beats, Commerce Casino, Hollywood Park, Home Game, Poker — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

At some point in your life, you have to let go of some of your childhood dreams.  Still 5 foot 3? You can put your NBA dreams to rest. Still playing pony league in your 20s? Probably won’t go to the MLB. Fail your medical boards for the 5th time? Surgery career out the door. Don’t get me wrong. I am fan of “anything is possible”. I’m a poker player, right? But let’s get real, sometimes you can tell things will never happen.

For me, I had a pretty good run as an independent musical artist. I played for some pretty large crowds, basked in the glory of the standing ovation and heard my music on TV, film and radio. However, when I turned 30, I could see the writing on the wall. I was never going to be a rock star. 10 years later, the only thing I miss is having that dream of being a star. Enter poker.

Poker is the dream that never dies. It doesn’t even discriminate. There are sharks of all ages sizes and shapes. 90 year old rocks, wheel chair bound chip slingers, and even the occasional blind man with a seeing eye sweater. You try walking into the Super Bowl all suited up demanding your shot. It’s not going to happen. But if you have $10,000 or were lucky enough to suck out on me in one of the bajillion satellites I played to get into the WSOP, all the power to you. You’re in and get your chance to join the elite ranks of the poker greats. What’s even more enticing is that the vast majority of WSOP bracelets are won by unknown players. It’s like Rocky every summer in Vegas.

Most of us will never bat against C.C. Sabathia or catch a pass from Brette Favre. But for the rest of our lives, poker players will have a chance to feel like a pro. If you’re   ballsy (and rich), I’m sure a variety of pros from Doyle to Durr would be happy to meet you at Bobby’s room. Probably at this very moment. Who knows, you might even beat them in a pot. If that’s bigger than your poker budget, you can go for the glory by chasing a bracelet. It’s a more affordable way to get the rush of playing with the pros. And if that isn’t enough, remember you always have a chance to be the “lucky bastard” to put Phil Hellmuth on tilt. Poker is truly a dream maker.

I play to keep the big dream alive.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

For more about making it big in poker read the following article:

http://www.pokerdownloadlink.com/how-to-win-at-poker/

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January 18, 2010

The Host Gift

Filed under: Home Game, Poker, Texas Hold'em, Wednesday Night Game — Tags: , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

I finally get an invite to the home game I’ve been subtlety lobbying to get into.

This is a group of the cool dad’s from my son’s pre-school. I casually let them know I play poker, and then patiently wait to be invited into the inner circle. It’s like dodgeball in elementary school. I desperately want to be included in the fun, but inevitably feel like the last one chosen.

Now that I have the invite, my next concern is what to bring for the host gift. This is after all, a friendly game. After too much deliberation, I settle on a bottle of wine. Not the good stuff of course, I want to be gracious, not stupid. Does this make me a bad person? Probably, but I’m just trying give the right gift for the right situation. It’s like trying to read an opponent. In this situation I think the B minus wine is enough to drag in the pot.

I arrive at the game, offer my wine to the host and take my seat with other guys. Tonight is going to be good. I am definitely going to fit in here. Until I don’t.

The guys start commenting on the wine they are drinking. Tannin this, velvet that. Uh oh. My okay wine is now a ticking time bomb ready to expose me as Mr. Cheap. Now I know I am fucked.

I silently accept defeat. I was outplayed at the wine game. No biggie. Just like when I take a licking at the poker table, I do some evaluation, make some adjustments and try not to repeat the same mistakes.

Thankfully, these guys aren’t nearly as judgmental as I am. A couple quips about my wine being sub-par, I’m off the hook. And the best news is that while these guys know wine, they don’t know shit about poker. But tonight, I don’t really care. I’m happy to just make new friends. It’s just gravy that these new friends will call a big raise with J8 in early position.

Even though the game is juicy, I’m just playing to make friends and drink (someone else’s) good wine.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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