Why Do I Play Poker?

February 3, 2010

At first I thought I was playing poker.

Filed under: Poker — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

This post was going to start with me fuming on the car ride home after a dismal night at the casino.  But after a little reflection, I realized the bad night wasn’t the point, it was my bad thinking.

It started with me sitting at a $100 NLH game. There was this drunk guy, so drunk the dealer had to help him count his chips drunk. He was sitting in front of a pile of chips and raising every, and I mean every, hand.  It looked like easy money.  In a pronounced slur, he would tell anybody who listened that he had racked up over a $1000 in less than half an hour.

It was obvious this guy wasn’t walking out of the casino with one dime of this money.  I figured, why not be a pal and help him part with it.  Why wait for a great hand? This guy’s drunk, why not help myself?

I pick up a very marginal hand. It’s an insta-fold against anyone but this guy. He raises and I’m happy to get it all in.  He’s happy to call.

I have him dominated.  He catches.  Re-buy. No big deal.

Soon, I’m against him heads up again.  He puts in his auto-raise.   Once again, I figure I’m ahead and I call.  Turns out I’m right again, but moments later,  I’m out another buy-in.

This happens a few more times.

Getting the picture?  Of course you do. At first glance, I was outraged I wasn’t winning.  But then I started thinking about it.  I may have known where I was, but truthfully I was barely ahead. At best, no more than 70/30.

I never considered there was a good chance I could lose four times in a row.  In my excitement to take down the King of Coronas, I didn’t factor in the grim reality:  he had the chips to weather the storm and I didn’t.

Big mistake.

So now I realize that I didn’t even play poker that night.  I gambled on a few expensive coin flips.

And from now on, that’s not why I play poker.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 25, 2010

Like Dexter, I also have a “Dark Passenger.”

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, The Bike, WSOP, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

“I’m all in!”

“I call!”

He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in disgust. It’s not that I got outplayed. That doesn’t piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark passenger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It’s like I am two people. On the one hand, I am a responsible father and husband. Patient, creative and frugal. On the other hand, I am an aggressive poker player – impatient, impulsive and sometimes reckless.

Okay, maybe my comparison to Dexter is an exaggeration. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.

I have the same conversation every time I go to the casino. “Today I am going to play tight. No fishing. Only play position. Fold draws when I don’t have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don’t go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most importantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!” I look in the mirror. Remind myself that I am in control.

Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christmas present. 2 minutes later, all my chips are in the middle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and convince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 seconds later…..I am on tilt, calling for chips and ready to gamble. Just like that, enter my dark passenger. It doesn’t take long until, I have lost my second buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and realize I have been here for only 75 minutes. Luckily the wallpaper on my iPhone is a picture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail disappears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.

I am always surprised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grateful for him as well. I use him as a measure for my personal growth. The day I can take a beating and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of consciousness. It may sound a bit metaphysical, but that’s one of the reasons I play poker.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 24, 2010

Some things don’t go well together. Connectivity and sit-n-go bubble strategy come to mind.

Filed under: Bad Beats, Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

There have been all sorts of things that keep me from playing my best poker online.   Mad at my boss.  Looking at too much porn. You get the picture.

Well, the other night was the first time my computer got the best of me.

I played a $24  + $2 Turbo 90 person tourney with a KO bonus of $4 per victim.  What the hell?  Seemed like fun.

Well, It was fun until I started getting disconnected every other hand.

Frustrated, I tried to dump my chips with A2 under the gun but I spiked an ace and knocked out my opponent. My first KO bonus. $4.  Cool.

I get disconnected again.  And again. And again.

I reconnect  and to my surprise I have aces and action.  Two guys are going all in.  It’s my turn to act.  My hand gets automatically folded.

Fuck.

Fuck you computer!  They would have held up too.  I would be the chip leader by a fucking mile.

I’m pissed. You have to take advantage of those spots.

We’re getting close to the bubble.  The guy I would have knocked out pushes.  He has me covered.  I have KK. We’re really close to the bubble, what to do?

I don’t have to tell you what happened .

Okay, I will. Out on the bubble.

I could’ve of waited, but I thought I was owed one because of those aces.  Where are my extra 40K in chips? I played like I had a rain check for a big winning hand.

It doesn’t work that way.  I let my computer put me on tilt. Sure, it sucked that I was having connectivity issues.  But I should have to reminded myself that my strategy for the end of the tournament had nothing to do with my connectivity issues.  Irrationally, I thought I had one in the bank. And I didn’t. Even though it felt good to blame my computer, it had nothing to do with why I lost that tournament.

I play poker is for the big scores.  It just eluded me last night.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

P.S. I played another one the next night and pulled a 4th.  I’ll take $200 in profit. Gotta love the KO Bounty paying your buy in. No connectivity issues either.

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January 23, 2010

Gung Ho or Don’t Go

Filed under: Online Poker, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

You can’t have ambivalence when you play poker. You are either gungho rock out with your cock out, or don’t play. Poker players sense weakness. If you display any softness, they WILL eat your balls. Trust me, it hurts.

Sometimes my family schedule opens up on a night when I am completely tired. It creates such conflict for me. The universe conspires to give me a free night, I should rally the troops and seize the free time. However, I don’t feel up for it. Herein lies the rub.

In truth, I can’t bear to pass the opportunity to play cards, even if I’m exhausted. I suddenly have the feeling that this will be the last time. If I don’t go now, I’ll never again experience the exhilaration of poker’s body drenching adrenaline rush. (That sounds gay).

Nine times out of ten I go, and nine times out of nine, I lose. Not only that, I start off losing.

After 2 buy-ins, I buckle down. By 2AM, I have actually rallied back to even. I consider leaving, but 2 things cross my mind. First, I hate the idea of playing poker for 6 hours and breaking even. It sounds stupid, but I would rather lose than break even. At least I have something to show for my time: an empty pocket. Second, if I leave now I will never ever in my whole life have the time, energy or means to come back. This will DEFINITELY be my last time ever playing poker. Since this IS my last time, might as well go out with a bang. A poker binge, if you will.

On these nights, I don’t leave until the absence of chips states the obvious. Pal, you’re done. At 4AM, I am $400 poorer and ask myself why the fuck I even went in the first place. 3o minutes later I am home. The moment I step through my front door, I wonder if I have any time next weekend to go back. Instantly I catch myself. What the fuck am I thinking?

If I wait until next weekend, life will get too complicated and I’ll never get there. Better go back tomorrow.

I play because I have the bug.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 17, 2010

Latin Ballroom or Pass the Trash

Filed under: Home Game, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

I’ve been married for 10 years, have 2 kids and almost no time to myself. If you count my internet porn babes as company, then I do in fact have no time to myself. When I get a call to join a neighbor’s home game on a random Wednesday night, I think to myself, “What would I rather do? Watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance with my wife, or hang out with the guys smoking pot, telling lies and acting like a 15 year old.” Hmmmmmmmmm

I arrive at the game a bit giddy. This night is going to be fun. Buy in is $80 and it’s dealer’s choice. Everyone hates NLH at home games. It’s too slow, too restrictive…requires too much talent! I know this going in. We are going to play games that are just a hair above roulette in skill level. Shit, I was going to be watching Tiffany and Raj do the Latin Ballroom, even if I lose $80 at stupid games of chance, I’m a winner. I’ll gladly play 3 hours of “Pass The Trash” if I can escape the suffering of a round of comments from the faggy dancing judges about how much Raj extended his arms during the pirouettes. Not that I have a problem with gay or dancing. But really? Is this even a contest?

Tonight I am catching bad cards. Couple that with missing some of the “subtleties” of Pass the Trash and I am thru my first buy in. It’s only 8:30. Raj is still doing pirouettes. RE-BUY!

At 9:07, my second buy-in is gone. Raj or chips? Raj or chips? Raj or chips? It’s a tough one, but at this point I need to acknowledge the grace and beauty of Raj’s dancing. He actually does have a place in my life. When all the money is gone and there is absolutely nothing left to do, Raj is the answer.

I come home. My wife remarks that I am home early. Bad night. I take my place on the couch and manage to show some enthusiasm when I ask, “Hey did I miss Raj and Tiffany?” “Nope”‘ she says, “just in time.” I force a smile and say, “Great! Can’t wait to see them really nail this Latin Ballroom.”

Sometimes I play poker to postpone the inevitable.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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