Why Do I Play Poker?

January 31, 2010

Poker Optimism – Number 1 Sign of a Losing Poker Player

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 9:28 am

Everyone loves an optimist.  Their enthusiasm is contagious.  They’re go-getters.

You know what?  I’ve had an assload of optimists lately.  And truthfully, the only place I want to see them is at the poker tables. Preferably, with their optimistic fucking mouths shut.

Here’s why? They’ll optimistically go to the ATM machine way more times than they’ll make that miracle one -outer.

If it’s so easy, then why do I sound so mad?  Thanks for asking. I get tired of hearing how optimism and enthusiasm are the be all end all of everything.  Everyone thinks those qualities are great. What about their cousins greed and self-delusion?  Well, they’re connected.  Alan Schoonmaker, Ph.D, put it best in his book, “Your Worst Poker Enemy“- “Destructive emotion #1: Hope”

Here’s the big secret.  Poker is really about things not happening.   Top pair on the flop usually holds up.  Make all the optimists pay dearly for their sunny outlooks.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my optimistic moments.  I’m basically a long term optimist, short term pessimist. Both in poker and in life.

I play poker to watch the optimists drown in their own hope.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 30, 2010

Free Online Poker – a safe way to be on full tilt

Filed under: Bad Beats, Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Poker — Tags: , , , , , , — WhyDoIPlayPoker @ 9:01 am

I am not a fan of free poker. It’s an oxymoron. Poker by its very definition needs to be played for money. If it doesn’t hurt to lose, it’s not poker.

That said, I have come to realize there is a time and place for the free online game.

In order to win in poker, you have to be controlled, disciplined, smart and lucky. As we all know, you can be at the top of your game, do everything right, and still lose. That’s one of the most frustrating things about poker. Do everything right, but still lose.

After a week’s worth of losing, either due to bad playing (probably) or bad beats (unlikely) I really want to say “fuck it” to good play.  This discipline, control and smart play hasn’t gotten me anywhere, so I think.

Enter FREE ONLINE POKER.

Talk about going all in with impunity. This is the place. 9-2 off UTG, sure. All in. Flop is A-A-K and I have pocket deuces. Fuck it. ALL IN!

This is where I go when I just can’t take it anymore. I can act like a jack ass. Push with junk. Call with junk. Act like a donkey. I get all of this out of my system. Welcome to the donkey farm.

Truthfully, I’m not happy until until at least six people are wishing cancer on me in the chat window. “What?  You want to play real poker? Get two nickels to rub together, assholes!”  I’m here for a purpose. This is free poker and I’m going all in every hand until I damn well feel and or play better.

Besides, I don’t feel as bad making a bunch of jerks hate me as I do after kicking the dog or punching a wall.  Ouch.  For the record, I never punched my dog. I did call him a douchebag once.

After 15 minutes of being this poker maniac, I feel better. The best part is I worked out some frustration and my bankroll is still intact.

I occasionally play free on-line poker to shake off the shit and stress from my real game.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 25, 2010

Like Dexter, I also have a “Dark Passenger.”

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, The Bike, WSOP, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

“I’m all in!”

“I call!”

He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in disgust. It’s not that I got outplayed. That doesn’t piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark passenger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It’s like I am two people. On the one hand, I am a responsible father and husband. Patient, creative and frugal. On the other hand, I am an aggressive poker player – impatient, impulsive and sometimes reckless.

Okay, maybe my comparison to Dexter is an exaggeration. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.

I have the same conversation every time I go to the casino. “Today I am going to play tight. No fishing. Only play position. Fold draws when I don’t have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don’t go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most importantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!” I look in the mirror. Remind myself that I am in control.

Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christmas present. 2 minutes later, all my chips are in the middle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and convince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 seconds later…..I am on tilt, calling for chips and ready to gamble. Just like that, enter my dark passenger. It doesn’t take long until, I have lost my second buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and realize I have been here for only 75 minutes. Luckily the wallpaper on my iPhone is a picture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail disappears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.

I am always surprised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grateful for him as well. I use him as a measure for my personal growth. The day I can take a beating and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of consciousness. It may sound a bit metaphysical, but that’s one of the reasons I play poker.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 17, 2010

Latin Ballroom or Pass the Trash

Filed under: Home Game, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

I’ve been married for 10 years, have 2 kids and almost no time to myself. If you count my internet porn babes as company, then I do in fact have no time to myself. When I get a call to join a neighbor’s home game on a random Wednesday night, I think to myself, “What would I rather do? Watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance with my wife, or hang out with the guys smoking pot, telling lies and acting like a 15 year old.” Hmmmmmmmmm

I arrive at the game a bit giddy. This night is going to be fun. Buy in is $80 and it’s dealer’s choice. Everyone hates NLH at home games. It’s too slow, too restrictive…requires too much talent! I know this going in. We are going to play games that are just a hair above roulette in skill level. Shit, I was going to be watching Tiffany and Raj do the Latin Ballroom, even if I lose $80 at stupid games of chance, I’m a winner. I’ll gladly play 3 hours of “Pass The Trash” if I can escape the suffering of a round of comments from the faggy dancing judges about how much Raj extended his arms during the pirouettes. Not that I have a problem with gay or dancing. But really? Is this even a contest?

Tonight I am catching bad cards. Couple that with missing some of the “subtleties” of Pass the Trash and I am thru my first buy in. It’s only 8:30. Raj is still doing pirouettes. RE-BUY!

At 9:07, my second buy-in is gone. Raj or chips? Raj or chips? Raj or chips? It’s a tough one, but at this point I need to acknowledge the grace and beauty of Raj’s dancing. He actually does have a place in my life. When all the money is gone and there is absolutely nothing left to do, Raj is the answer.

I come home. My wife remarks that I am home early. Bad night. I take my place on the couch and manage to show some enthusiasm when I ask, “Hey did I miss Raj and Tiffany?” “Nope”‘ she says, “just in time.” I force a smile and say, “Great! Can’t wait to see them really nail this Latin Ballroom.”

Sometimes I play poker to postpone the inevitable.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 11, 2010

I just read a new poker book. I’m bracing myself for the inevitable losing streak.

Filed under: Bad Beats, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 5:29 pm

I know that’s it’s not supposed to work that way.  I would prefer to be able to read a poker book, preferable just the back blurb, and go on some endless winning streak.  All of the game’s mysteries unlocked in one key paragraph. For about an hour’s worth of leisurely reading I think its only fair that I become invincible. I would like to sit down at the poker table and announce, “I want you to know I’ve skimmed through some of the Harrington books, please give me the contents of your wallets.”

It definitely doesn’t work that way for me.  Actually, it means the exact opposite. Finishing a poker book kicks off a three week losing streak.

Even with that knowledge, I still love a new poker book.  Sure, most of them say pretty much the same stuff, but every once in a while someone really changes the way you look at the game.  Or at least, one aspect of it. Like three-betting an under the gun raiser.

So what do I do?  I work the price of the losing streak into the cost of the book. It’s an education I believe is worth paying for.  The whole point is to get better, right?  If I’m going to keep playing the same mediocre game I should just get out of my seat and stop playing now.  You have to get better.  And I do.  Slowly.

I play poker to get better.  To possibly someday rule the table regardless of stakes.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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