Why Do I Play Poker?

February 5, 2010

Winning Poker Formula:Play Against the Weak. Losing Poker Formula:Play Against the Strong

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Full Tilt Poker, Hollywood Park, Poker, Texas Hold'em, The Bike — Tags: , , , , , , , — WhyDoIPlayPoker @ 4:00 am

I’ll just come out and say it: I play poker to win money.

Just like any other poker player, I will take money from my friends, my enemies, my neighbor, the fathers of my son’s pre-school friends and even my wife.  Hell, if my grandmother would sit down with me I would try my darnedest to take her money as well.

In order to win more money at poker, I have done what any true poker player does: study.

I study a lot.

I buy the books: Sit ‘n Go Strategy, Harrington on Hold ‘em, Online Ace, etc. I underline important parts, take notes and implement the techniques.

I take internet courses:  Deepstacks University, the online interactive course endorsed by Mike “The Mouth” Matusow. (great site by the way!)

I have discussions with fellow poker players about strategy, odds, etc.

You’d think with all this diligent work my results would be better.  Online I am a break even player. Home games:winner.  Casino games: loser. To be honest, I am an overall loser in poker. Not huge numbers, but enough to irk me. Make me want to crack the nut.

After all this studying, practicing and playing, I have come to realize there is only one REAL winning formula for poker: Play against players that are worse than you are.  Sounds simple, but it’s true. This is a predatory sport and the strong feast on the weak.

You want to beat the game, look for the table full of losers.

Top 10 Traits of a Losing Poker Player:

10.  He has a short stack. A good player knows that to win, his stack has to be replenished. Otherwise he’s not playing poker. It’s called playing bingo.

9. A big talker, giving lessons = BIG LOSER.

8. Looks like he’s been up all night. Probably trying to get even. Winners go home when they are losing and cut their losses.

7. Complains about back beats.

6. Goes to the ATM. Definitely means he is going beyond his intended budget and probably not using good bankroll management.

5. Plays almost every hand: loser

4. Tries to verbally intimidate the other players. LOSER!

3. Talks about how much he won last night. LOOOOOOO-SER!

2. Throws his cards at the dealer.

1. Makes quick over-sized bets.

I am probably not telling you anything new. But how many of us truly abide by these rules. It ain’t rocket science, but it works. In fact, it works way better than reading, studying or talking about poker. To paraphrase Texas Dolly: Poker is a game of people played with cards.

I play poker to win money from the weak.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 23, 2010

Gung Ho or Don’t Go

Filed under: Online Poker, Poker, Texas Hold'em — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

You can’t have ambivalence when you play poker. You are either gungho rock out with your cock out, or don’t play. Poker players sense weakness. If you display any softness, they WILL eat your balls. Trust me, it hurts.

Sometimes my family schedule opens up on a night when I am completely tired. It creates such conflict for me. The universe conspires to give me a free night, I should rally the troops and seize the free time. However, I don’t feel up for it. Herein lies the rub.

In truth, I can’t bear to pass the opportunity to play cards, even if I’m exhausted. I suddenly have the feeling that this will be the last time. If I don’t go now, I’ll never again experience the exhilaration of poker’s body drenching adrenaline rush. (That sounds gay).

Nine times out of ten I go, and nine times out of nine, I lose. Not only that, I start off losing.

After 2 buy-ins, I buckle down. By 2AM, I have actually rallied back to even. I consider leaving, but 2 things cross my mind. First, I hate the idea of playing poker for 6 hours and breaking even. It sounds stupid, but I would rather lose than break even. At least I have something to show for my time: an empty pocket. Second, if I leave now I will never ever in my whole life have the time, energy or means to come back. This will DEFINITELY be my last time ever playing poker. Since this IS my last time, might as well go out with a bang. A poker binge, if you will.

On these nights, I don’t leave until the absence of chips states the obvious. Pal, you’re done. At 4AM, I am $400 poorer and ask myself why the fuck I even went in the first place. 3o minutes later I am home. The moment I step through my front door, I wonder if I have any time next weekend to go back. Instantly I catch myself. What the fuck am I thinking?

If I wait until next weekend, life will get too complicated and I’ll never get there. Better go back tomorrow.

I play because I have the bug.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 22, 2010

Sometimes I need a break from Dockers and fat free salad dressing.

Filed under: Commerce Casino, Home Game, Online Poker, Poker, Winning Streak — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 9:21 am

A man can not be sustained on good, wholesome family life alone.  Or, at least, I can’t.  On a regular basis I like to head to my local casino, Hollywood Park.  It’s not just for the poker either. The place is a real melting pot and I get to rub elbows with people from walks of life I may never have the chance to otherwise.

I know a lot of people that are alarmingly similar.  CPAs, dentists, and an assload of regional managers. As you might guess, this gets boring.  The casino, on the other hand, is full of characters that you would probably would never meet anywhere but the casino.

I love it.

Playing with people from all walks of life is what makes poker great.  I can’t think of a better common denominator. I learn more about humanity at the table than I would at a lifetime of Neighborhood Watch meetings.  Okay fine, I don’t go to Neighborhood Watch meetings. That’s what regional managers are for. Where else can I hear from an ex-gangleader the way to make money is buying foreclosed homes from HUD, Housing Urban Development or something like that.  Dude was a millionaire.   Or maybe he was lying.  Either way I don’t care.  I’m definitely not going to meet the rock tight porn director at one of these sushi rolling parties my wife tells me we’ve been invited to.  Actually maybe I would.  But at the sushi party he’s not going into the details of the girl on girl scene gone bad because one of the actresses had some bad ceviche for lunch.

I play poker to meet people I normally wouldn’t.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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January 20, 2010

Poker is a dream maker

Filed under: Bad Beats, Commerce Casino, Hollywood Park, Home Game, Poker — Tags: , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

At some point in your life, you have to let go of some of your childhood dreams.  Still 5 foot 3? You can put your NBA dreams to rest. Still playing pony league in your 20s? Probably won’t go to the MLB. Fail your medical boards for the 5th time? Surgery career out the door. Don’t get me wrong. I am fan of “anything is possible”. I’m a poker player, right? But let’s get real, sometimes you can tell things will never happen.

For me, I had a pretty good run as an independent musical artist. I played for some pretty large crowds, basked in the glory of the standing ovation and heard my music on TV, film and radio. However, when I turned 30, I could see the writing on the wall. I was never going to be a rock star. 10 years later, the only thing I miss is having that dream of being a star. Enter poker.

Poker is the dream that never dies. It doesn’t even discriminate. There are sharks of all ages sizes and shapes. 90 year old rocks, wheel chair bound chip slingers, and even the occasional blind man with a seeing eye sweater. You try walking into the Super Bowl all suited up demanding your shot. It’s not going to happen. But if you have $10,000 or were lucky enough to suck out on me in one of the bajillion satellites I played to get into the WSOP, all the power to you. You’re in and get your chance to join the elite ranks of the poker greats. What’s even more enticing is that the vast majority of WSOP bracelets are won by unknown players. It’s like Rocky every summer in Vegas.

Most of us will never bat against C.C. Sabathia or catch a pass from Brette Favre. But for the rest of our lives, poker players will have a chance to feel like a pro. If you’re   ballsy (and rich), I’m sure a variety of pros from Doyle to Durr would be happy to meet you at Bobby’s room. Probably at this very moment. Who knows, you might even beat them in a pot. If that’s bigger than your poker budget, you can go for the glory by chasing a bracelet. It’s a more affordable way to get the rush of playing with the pros. And if that isn’t enough, remember you always have a chance to be the “lucky bastard” to put Phil Hellmuth on tilt. Poker is truly a dream maker.

I play to keep the big dream alive.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

For more about making it big in poker read the following article:

http://www.pokerdownloadlink.com/how-to-win-at-poker/

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January 18, 2010

The Host Gift

Filed under: Home Game, Poker, Texas Hold'em, Wednesday Night Game — Tags: , , , , , , , — Why Do I Play Poker? @ 4:00 am

I finally get an invite to the home game I’ve been subtlety lobbying to get into.

This is a group of the cool dad’s from my son’s pre-school. I casually let them know I play poker, and then patiently wait to be invited into the inner circle. It’s like dodgeball in elementary school. I desperately want to be included in the fun, but inevitably feel like the last one chosen.

Now that I have the invite, my next concern is what to bring for the host gift. This is after all, a friendly game. After too much deliberation, I settle on a bottle of wine. Not the good stuff of course, I want to be gracious, not stupid. Does this make me a bad person? Probably, but I’m just trying give the right gift for the right situation. It’s like trying to read an opponent. In this situation I think the B minus wine is enough to drag in the pot.

I arrive at the game, offer my wine to the host and take my seat with other guys. Tonight is going to be good. I am definitely going to fit in here. Until I don’t.

The guys start commenting on the wine they are drinking. Tannin this, velvet that. Uh oh. My okay wine is now a ticking time bomb ready to expose me as Mr. Cheap. Now I know I am fucked.

I silently accept defeat. I was outplayed at the wine game. No biggie. Just like when I take a licking at the poker table, I do some evaluation, make some adjustments and try not to repeat the same mistakes.

Thankfully, these guys aren’t nearly as judgmental as I am. A couple quips about my wine being sub-par, I’m off the hook. And the best news is that while these guys know wine, they don’t know shit about poker. But tonight, I don’t really care. I’m happy to just make new friends. It’s just gravy that these new friends will call a big raise with J8 in early position.

Even though the game is juicy, I’m just playing to make friends and drink (someone else’s) good wine.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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